Once, my parents took me to a theme park with my younger brother. When we got down from our car, a crowd of people passed by us studdenly. Strangly, my brother was gone! My father and I continued to find him for the rest of the day, but we didn't find out eventually.
The followings are about my younger brother'appearance:We are Asian. He is an elementary school student about twelve years old. He isn't very tall but a little heavy. The clothes he wore that day was a white T-shirt with a rabbit pattern and a black pants. His hair is brown. And his eyes are chubby and big. His skin is kind of black. But he couldn't speak English very well. He is my only brother. Please, if you find a person who may be my brother, call me in no time. I will be grateful for you from the bottom of my heart!
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回覆刪除a crowd of people passed by us studdenly...應該可以PASSED BY就好
回覆刪除studdenly...suddenly
find out ...find HIM out
brother' appearance...brother's appearance
a black pants...a pair of black pants
^^
第一句我覺得可以寫
回覆刪除took me as well as my brother
從車子出來是 get out of
第一段最後一句 我認為寫found him就好 不要加out
因為find out 是從某個地方把什麼找出來 或是 發覺之類的 換句話說 變你第自己躲在哪了
But he couldn't speak English very well
這句不用加but 阿
而且好突然
然後整篇文章都過去式現在式亂換ㄟ
When we got down from our car ->got off?
回覆刪除Strangly=>strangely
find out eventually =>find him
brother's
The followings are about my younger brother'appearance:We are Asian. we跟appearance用句號分開就好了
e isn't very tall but a little heavy 用and 接吧
The clothes he wore that day was =>were?
But he couldn't speak English very well 這邊不用用but接吧,然後下面突然接他是我唯一的第第感覺有點唐突
從車子出來應該不是got down 應該是 get off
回覆刪除my younger brother'appearance
你的s不見了
But he couldn't speak English very well.
這個應該是只能力 為什麼要用過去式呢
*got out of
回覆刪除*passed by
*suddenly
*strangely
*find--> look for
*find out--> find him
*brother's appearance
*a black pants-->black pants
*black skin--> dark skin
*grateful for--> grateful to
Well ..your brother can't speak English very well, neither can you.
The clothes he (wore) that day (was) a white T-shirt with a rabbit pattern and a black pants.
回覆刪除一句裡面怎麼有兩個動詞?
I will be grateful for you from the bottom of my heart!
是 be grateful for 這樣用嗎?
為何不直接用 thank for?
我還是來看完囉! ^ ^
回覆刪除呵~要記得提弟弟的名字和聯絡方式唷~
然後他不見的方法好像卡通會演的!!
很有趣的失蹤法
弟弟被那群人捲走了~~~
a crowd of people passed by us studdenly.
回覆刪除Strangly, 少一個e
The clothes he wore that day was a white T-shirt with a rabbit pattern and a black pants. →The clothes which he wore was a white T-shirt with a rabbit pattern and a pairs of pants.